takin it all for us

 it's been so long since the stars have been gone yet i find i'm startled still when i wake up to an empty sky sat outside my window sill i swallow the feeling deep inside as it rises in me like vomit pray in all of my naivete that the moving objects no comet asked about myself this day id beg to go without comment for there is nothing really left to say without me being honest if i could dispose of my face even if i like the way it lays on the bone that composes my frame i think i know that i'd do it just the same if i could die for a moment in time  if i could be free of my body then i'd have so much that i could say  so many things to live for today  but i'm so acutely aware of my being contained and that's the excuse that i'll feed you today We wake up ...and it starts There was a time, i could swear where we dreamt of, dreamt of stars They truly didn't seem too far Before their faces became marred Prior to being barred I still had my bars Fixed firm...

So, I'm a big My Chemical Romance fan in case you couldn't tell by the... everything about me.      Gerard Way is a fascinating human being to me, in a way that I rarely get invested in celebrites. I attribute this mostly to my method of introduction to this band. Allow me to set the scene for you; It's summer of 2019, I've just gotten off my second to last year of high school. It was a wild year for me indeed with me finally taking steps to free myself of my marionette strings and now being thrown into a world of new potential freedoms. Now, without even a structure to my days I am confronted by a freedom I don't know what to do with.           Towards the middle of the school year I was sort of reintroduced to a girl I'd known in passing for a while. She was... so pretty. So very pretty, but I was a gay little idiot who didn't quite understand how to recognize attraction let alone act upon it. We grew closer and closer yet in a short yet in...

 “I want someone to tell me what to wear every morning. I want someone to tell me what to eat.  What to like, what to hate, what to rage about. What to listen to, what band to like.  What to buy tickets for. What to joke about, what to not joke about.  I want someone to tell me what to believe in. Who to vote for and who to love and how to tell them.  I think I just want someone to tell me how to live my life, Father,  because so far I think I've been getting it wrong.” -Fleabag, s2  I think that having zero free will when you're a child heavily impacts your views of your autonomy for the rest of your life... but hey, maybe that's just me.      The man who lived in my house, who donned the mask of father from time to time, was very insistent on my being all 'safe and sound'. So insistent in fact that trackers, locks and freedom in windows are how I've learnt to love. It's why ownership sounds so appealing at times, why the fucked up roma...